Marriage Part 2

Nope, I haven't forgotten about my challenge if you wanna call it that to post about the marriage conference that Michael and I went to, life has just been a little busy lately. This post will be another long one, I'm going to try and get out all we did on Saturday. It was an all day Saturday thing, but was so worth it.. I say all day, we did get to go on a date Saturday night, that one of the key parts of the conference is getting to do something special with your spouse Saturday night. Well I guess I'll just jump right in.

Session 3 was on Unlocking the Mystery of Marriage and God's purpose for Oneness.

Think about this, what if marriage is about more than just your happiness, have you ever thought about that? I know I sure hadn't.. I always thought marriage was about being happy. So what is the purpose of of being married? First it's to mirror God's image, Genesis 1:27 says "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." God created man and woman so they can together mirror his image. Our oneness is a living picture of this intimate relationship between Jesus Christ and His followers (Ephesians 5:22-33). Our oneness is expressed within a lifetime commitment to each other. The second purpose is to mutually complete one another (to experience companionship). Companionship in marriage is God's provision to replace isolation and meet our deep longing for a close intimate relationship. Genesis 2:18 says "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him." Oneness in a marriage is only possible when we consider our spouse BEFORE we consider ourselves. (I know at times this is hard for me, not just because I but myself first but I also put Whitnee first, I have to remind myself that I need to put Michael before myself and even before Whitnee at times, I'm sure I'm not the only one who has that problem). Satan's purposes are threatened by couples who are becoming one; therefore, Satan concentrates his major attacks on them. REMEMBER YOUR SPOUSE IS NOT YOUR ENEMY!!

Session 4 from how to wow God's plan for oneness

Oneness grows as we receive our spouse as a gift from God. Our culture's pattern for marriage has obviously failed. God's plan for oneness in marriage involves three responsibilities: you bust leave, cleave and become one flesh. First, LEAVE, the first responsibility is the establish independence from your parents. Genesis 2:24 says " Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother.." leaving must be done in the context of honor to one's parents. It is essential that your spouse is the PRIMARY relationship in your life! Be careful to not be financially dependent on your parents. the degree to which you leave is the degree to which you can cleave. Second, CLEAVE: establish commitment to one another. God created Adam with an unmet need: Adam was alone, Genesis 2:18 says "Then the Lord God said "it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him." An important question for Adam was, would he receive Eve? "Then the man said, "This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man." - Genesis 2:23. In that passage God illustrates a corner stone principle for marriage: we must choose to receive our spouse as God's perfect provision for us. The Third responsibility is to establish intimacy with one another. Becoming one flesh is not just getting married or having sex; it is a process that helps us grow as individuals and grow closer as a couple. This growth begins as we break dependencies from our past and cleave each other. So why is God's plan difficult to experience? First off it's because of our natural differences. Differences are God's tools to teach us to trust Him and His goodness. Second is our natural weaknesses, weaknesses have divine purposes in our lives. Third is because of our natural self-centeredness, we must admit that we are selfish.

Session 5 was on What every marriage needs, God's Power for oneness.

To truly experience oneness in marriage, we must first experience the power that comes from oneness with God. Oneness in marriage is the result of fulfilling God's purposes ad following God's plan for marriage. Oneness with god begins as we establish a relationship with Him and continues as we experience an ongoing relationship with Him. First, establish a relationship with God. Oneness as at the center of God's original design for marriage. Adam and Eve's oneness with God was the centerpiece of their marriage relationship. Oneness was destroyed when Adam ad Eve rejected God and His plan for life. Oneness was destroyed between mankind and God. Oneness with God is possible because of Jesus Christ, because of his death, burial, and resurrection, the path to oneness has been restored!
I'm so thankful that I'm able to have that oneness and then in turn be able to have oneness with my hubby!!

Session 6 was we fight too, a conflict survival guide (don't we all need this one?)

How a couple resolves conflict reflect the state of their oneness. Conflict is common in ALL marriages! The goal is to not be conflict free, but to handle it correctly when it occurs. First, where does conflict come from?  Conflict occurs when our desires are ot fulfilled when we don't get what we want, our unfulfilled desires may result in anger. Our unfulfilled desires lead to fighting and quarreling and for conflict to be resolved both husband and wife must be committed to oneness. Second, resolving conflict requires loving confrontations, being able to "fight fair" and remembering your spouse is NOT your enemy!! Third Resolving conflict requires forgiveness. The bible teaches that as a Christian we are responsible to God to seek out and grant forgiveness! Lastly, we minimize conflict when we actively choose to bless one another in marriage.

Sessions 7.. I think I'm gonna keep this one to myself, it's on sex. How intimacy is a great thing, and God created it for us to enjoy when we get married. I don't wanna spill all the details.

Wow I hope you all stuck around! I know my fingers hurt from typing! Please remember I didn't come up with this on my own, this just little snippets from the book they gave us, there is so much more to each session that I didn't even include, God did an amazing thing that weekend. I encourage each and everyone of you to try and make it to a conference. If you are planning on throwing in the towel try this conference first. Let me know, so I can show you how to get connected and so I can be praying for you and your marriage! My prayer for my marriage is that Michael and I will leave a Godly legacy behind for Whitnee, and our future children if God blesses us with more. I want to be the couple that Whitnee and her husband look up to, I want to be the couple that our youth can look up to and pray they have that one day. I know that if Michael and I are seeking God's face together we will be that couple!

God bless you all!

Vacation 2014

This year we got to go the Gulf Shores, Alabama with my best friend and her family. This was only my 2nd time to the beach, but it was Whitnees first time. I knew she loved to swim and be in the water, so I figured she would LOVE the beach! Well guess what, I was right! As soon as we arrived we went straight down to the water! Whit looked at me and said this is amazing!!

Prepare yourself for an update via pictures. It's just easier that way. :)

The look on her face says it all.

Just a little collage I made.

I love love love having my feet in the sand! I've always said that if God moved us somewhere else for our ministry I hope it's closer to a warm beach! 

Oh how my hubby loves me! We celebrated our 7yr anniversary while we were gone, before we left we had decided that we weren't going to buy each other anything because going to the beach was awesome enough. This was hard for me because my love language is one of gifts, and I wanted to buy him something. But I was good and didn't, well as you can see he cheated! He completely surprised me! He ended up getting me a Williw Tree figure, he did such a good job picking it out!

The bestest best friend a girl could have! So glad I got to spend a week with her and her family! It was a busy week because her baby brother got married while we were there. 

Wedding day! It was such a pretty wedding! 

Whitnee dancing with the handsom groom. She was so excited to dance with him.

Haha this kid! The last 2 days were very lazy and it was great! Whit got to play her little heart out in the sand! She even convinced one if the boys to help her build sand castles it was so cute!!

When we finally made it home we ate an early dinner, and then when I came into the living room I found this! So sweet! We all went to bed around 630. I felt very well rested that next morning! 

So far summer 2014 has been a great one! I can't wait to take Whit back to the beach, maybe we can go next year!  Whit had her last day if pre school before we left. She had such a great year, and I can't believe my baby is starting K in the fall! She said she is ready! I on the other hand am not! I won't have to walk her in every day and I'm not sure how I will handle that! So till then we will enjoy the summer and spending every day togeather. 

Marriage

This past weekend Michael and I went to Branson, MO for the Family Life Weekend to Remember event. One of Michaels friends bought us the tickets for Christmas so we could attend. It was one of the best weekends we have had in a long time! We learned so much! I want to share some of what we learned that way maybe it'll help someone reading this, and so I can come back one day and remember this amazing weekend.

First off the conference was at the Chaetae On The Lake, they were doing a special room rate if you stayed at the hotel and were going to the conference, so Michael and I decided to take advantage of it. We are so glad that we did, it was so nice to be able to just go back to our room to get ready for the night or be able to sleep in a little more and just walk down stairs for the early morning sessions, since neither one of us are morning people.  We got to the hotel Friday afternoon, went and got something to eat then did a little shopping. That night we had a couple of sessions to attend so we headed back to the hotel.

The first session was on why marriages fail, and just the different things that can happen in life to break a marriage up, from difficult adjustments, like the way you were raised, to what your expectations in marriage are. Another reason marriages fail is because of our cultures patterns. Now a days it's so easy for people to just throw in the towel instead of trying to work things out. I'm so glad that before we got married Michael and I made a vow to always work things out, and to never talk about the D word. Another reason is due to inevitable difficulties, you know when life gets hard it's hard to work through things, and still keep the love alive in your marriage. Extramarital affairs is another reason why marriages fail, not just with another person but you could be in an affair with your career, material things, or even activities. We must always remember that the first relationship in our life is God, but then the second one is our marriage. Lastly selfishness, everyone can admit that they are a selfish being, but being in a marriage you have to learn to put your spouses needs before your own. I will be the firs to say wow this is hard! Yet at the same time after 7 yrs of marriage making Michael happy makes me happy. It has become much easier over the years. In a round about way this session talked about how we need to have oneness in our marriage to make it work. Oneness with 3 people. God, our spouse and ourselves. When we have found that oneness it will make our marriage so much stronger and better in the end. I'm so glad that I married a Godly man who makes God the center of our marriage and then in turn our family!

The second session was on communication. Wow can communication be difficult! We learned about a couple different types of communication that I want to share so you can figure out what is your communication type and the what type your spouse is. I'll put a (*) next to the type I am.

• Land-the-plane: this type of communicators want to find the shortest path to the goal. They destination is their goal. (*)
• Enjoy-the-ride: they think you might as well relax and enjoy the ride. The trip is what it is all about.
• Share-your-feelings: they feel deeply about what they are communicate. for them emotions are simply a part of thinking (*)
• Just-the-facts: set aside emotions for logic, reason, and fact. For them, emotions interfere with good thinking.
• Thinking-out-loud: ask questions and make comments as soon as the thought occurs - even if the other person happens to be talking all the time. For them conversation is a group activity. (*)
• Let's-take-turns; use the principle of justice and fair play to govern communication. Conversations are simple: first you talk and then I talk.

Guess what communication styles Michael had.. the opposite. You will probably find that common with you and your spouse. By knowing the type of communication our spouse uses it will make it easier to communicate with them, and at times even be able to use their communication style. We also learned when communicating to respond emotion with emotion and fact with fact. Wow what an amazing concept.. in other words say I'm having the worst day of my life and I'm very emotional about it, Michael shouldn't respond with oh well are you sure it's the worse day what about this day, instead he could respond with oh, I'm so sorry Honee, and the proceed to give me a hug and a kiss.. being very emotional about it.
We also need to learn to listen well, this is where I as a female struggle because I'm a multitasker.  So I'm now striving to give not only Michael but even Whitnee my focused attention, to listen with acceptance and understanding, if I don't understand to as questions to clarify the statements, and to focus on what is being said and not the way it's being said. then I in turn an going to start thinking before I speak, remembering that not everything I'm feeling needs to be expressed, ask to make sure I'm being understood and to speak in a way that encourages.

All of this was just taken in on Friday night! I think I will stop there for today. Hopefully I will remember to get back on and talk about the rest of the weekend. We really did have so much fun spending the time just him and I.. well and all the other people their, but it felt like it was just him and I. We learned so much and I'm excited to see this weekend in working through out the rest of our marriage. Will we have ruff times? Absolutely but prayerfully we will make it through a lot easier because of the things we learned. We have already started doing devo together and praying together ever night again. It's so nice to be doing that with him. I hope that someone gets something out of this post. If you do please let me know. Thanks!

Life!

Haven't been able to post much due to living life! Ever get that way? Busy living and don't take time to blog, read, clean (my house shows that). It's been a busy past couple of weeks. The most exciting thing to happen is I became an Aunt again, but this one was extra special! I have my first nephew!  

Everyone meet Zachery Tyler! It's amazing how much love you have for a baby as soon as you meet them! It's extra special with my nieces and nephew because I get to spoil them and send them home! 

Whit was sick when he was born, so we had to wait for her to meet him, but when she did, she loved him! I love this picture because you have Bailey Grace trying to get in! 

Last week we had my sister baby shower, I only took one picture!! SHAME ON ME!! At least we know we had cute decorations! 

Before the shower Whit and I took some selfies! I love these pictures! She is such a goof like her momma!

So we have been with out a working CD player in the car for almost a year now, well that has no changed! PRAISE THE LORD!! Not only can we play CDs but we can play music from our phone now!! I feel so fancy! It also has some really pretty colors! 

 

Well we are getting ready for soccer season! Whit can't wait to play again! Our March and April are going to be very full! Soccer starts, we have a movie night set up for the youth, and then YCW at Silver Dollar City, and then the hubby and I are headed to a marriage conference in April. In so excited! God is doing great things in our lives, and in the ministry of our youth! Keep us all in your thoughts and prayers!! 

Crazy Week

Whitnee was suppose to start back to school last Monday. Due to more snow she didn't go back till Wednesday. Then more ice hit and she missed Thursday and was able to go back on Friday. Poor thing, she was so sad to be missing school! She really has fallen in love with going! It'll be weird her being in school all this week. 

This is how we spent most of our days, in jammies and what ever other stuff Whit thought she needed to wear. :) 

I took Whit to a gymbacks meet. It's so much fun watching Whit watch the gymnasts.  

I was also going through old pictures and saw this. Blows my mind that the little baby in my arms is going to be 5 in May! I'm struggling with the fact that she will be 5. 5 seems like such a big kid age! She's not a toddler/baby anymore! UGH! She is however such an amazing blessing in my life! I look at her and think wow she is awesome! I pray she grows up knowing how much we love her Nd how much God loves her!  

Cooking with some amazing girls! We got together to cook for Memas (michaels mom) birthday. It's so much fun cooking with these girls! LOVE them! So glad I have an AMAZING sister in love and my little ginger niece! 

I've said it once and I'll say it again, it's time to get my butt in gear and loose some weight! We are going to the beach in June and I need to me smaller when we go! Hoping I can stay motivated this time around! 

BIG Update

WOW! Has it really been 5 months since I have blogged? Shame on me! My new goal this year is to get back to blogging. I'm so bad at keeping goals/New Years resolutions so we shall see how this goes. 

Well our life has been pretty crazy since July if last year. Whitnee has started school. It's been a lot easier of a translation than I thought it was going to be. We are so blessed by the school Whit goes too. Her teachers are amazing, and Whit looks forward to going. 

Whitnee also started playing soccer. She LOVED it! She will start playing again in the spring. We are counting down the days. 

The hubby and I got to attend a lot if Razorback games this last season. Fall is my favorite time due to football! I'm such a dude when it comes to football season! It never lasts long enough for me! 

I took part in a woman's bible study! This was one if the best decisions I made! I LOVED learning more about John, and getting together with some women once a week. It was nice! 

In August my best friend had a baby! He is the cutest little guy ever!!! It's been so much fun seeing them become parents and I'm so blessed to be able to see this guy grow! 

In November we took a trip with one if my friends to Vegas to see my dad. Talk about a good time! 

This winter has been crazy! We have gotten so much snow and ice! I'm so not a snow bunny! We had our one good snow and I'm now over it and ready for flip flop weather! 

Well that should know have me caught up, and now I can hopefully start back to my normal blogging. I really do feel so much better when I take the time to blog. Crazy enough I go back and look at my old blogs often, crazy to see where our life was and where it is now. Some may say my life is boring, but I LOVE it!